The Gift of Time

At the end of June, I was given a precious gift. The gift of time.

I have spent the past month pausing, reflecting, praying, laughing, celebrating, writing, embracing the mundane, grieving, reintroducing beauty into my life, getting rid of physical, emotional, and spiritual clutter, grieving some more, dreaming about the future, eating good food, sleeping, and spending time with my people…and doing it all over again.

During this time, some important reminders surfaced: I am loved by a REALLY good God. I am blessed with an amazing, quirky, imperfect, loving family. I work with incredible people who love God and people really well. It’s important to take time away on a regular basis even when it doesn’t appear to be a good time. Grief surprises me but so does joy, and they often arrive at the same time.

When I return to my normal responsibilities on Monday, they won’t be normal anymore. A shift is happening and, while there is excitement, there is also an element of uncertainty.

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And we know that all things work together for good to them
that love God,
to them who are called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
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So I’m leaning into the excitement. The anticipation of what God is up to and how he continues to invite me into his work. Because he is good that way – over and over again. And although things look differently to me, he isn’t surprised at all. Instead, he uses everything – nothing is wasted. Each step. Each experience, each moment is a loving reminder that…

You are adored.

The Leap

He was 19 years old in the fall of 1961. Just a few days before Thanksgiving, he enlisted with the Army to serve his country during the Vietnam War. After completing basic training, he continued with the 82nd Airborne Division at Fort Bragg and was set to deploy overseas with his unit after this one last coordinated training jump at Fort Benning.

The last jump.

Dad and his team had been jumping into a variety of drop zones, including swamp-like conditions, in preparation of what they would likely encounter in a matter of days once deployed. Mid-air, Dad pulled the ripcord and discovered the rigger packed his chute without cleaning it properly. It fell right alongside him from 14,000 feet as a swamp-mud brick, not the canopy of safety he had come to trust.

Unable to direct his descent without the parachute, he missed the intended drop zone and landed in trees instead. Dad broke his leg and his back – resulting in a spinal cord injury – before hitting sand that would bury him up to his chest. He witnessed fellow soldiers, nicknamed Sneaky Petes, descend from the surrounding trees, approach him, and cut the rigger’s logbook off his harness. Effectively preventing anyone from identifying who had made the life-threatening chute-packing mistake. Then he watched them climb back up the trees before blacking out.

He became the man left behind.

Medics were the ones who came to Dad’s rescue, extracted him from the sand, and transported him to the Army hospital. Transfers to numerous military hospitals over the next several months for unique care led to a series of miraculous and painful realities. The miracle of survival, the pain of paralysis from the chest down, the miracle of walking again, the anguish of chronic pain for the rest of his life. It seemed that each success came with a blow of discouragement. And while chronic pain was certainly a life-long challenge, so was forgiveness.

How do you move forward after watching the very people who were supposed to have your back, literally turn theirs on you? How do you walk in forgiveness after such life-threatening betrayal?

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Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32

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When I was old enough to understand the betrayal of his story, Dad told me the Special Forces soldiers were simply doing their job. I don’t pretend to understand my dad’s thoughts after that experience – his journey of faith was different than mine – but I think this was his way of making some kind of peace with it all. He believed the rigger had no malicious intent, and the Sneaky Petes had a job to do. Wrong place. Wrong time. Bad luck. Shoulders shrugged. Case closed. Deep breath. Head down. Move on.

Friends, we don’t have to muscle our way into forgiveness.

As sons and daughters of the Most High, we have access to the very power that overcame death and the grave. Sure, we’ve all been betrayed, and I don’t want to minimize that awfulness. It needs to be acknowledged, named, and processed. AND if our God has given us the same power that overcame death, it is certainly powerful enough to overcome life’s betrayals, even the unthinkable ones.

But it doesn’t start with muscle.

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Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done.
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.
Amen.
Matthew 6:9-13

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It starts with the leap of surrender.

Surrendering my right to revenge. Surrendering my desire to replay it over and over in my mind. Surrendering myself to God’s ways. The leap of surrender. The leap of forgiveness. Releasing that person from the wrong they committed, resulting in the floodgates of healing being thrown open wide. In. My. Heart. Forgiveness doesn’t absolve the responsibility of the offender. Forgiveness releases me from the responsibility of retribution, keeping my own heart peaceful and clean before the Lord. And that, my friends, is not possible in my own power. Forgiveness is fully the work of the Lord…once I make the leap.

Some of us have had recent betrayals and others of us are carrying betrayals from decades ago. It doesn’t matter how long we’ve carried these wounds, healing is available right now. And the Savior who makes it available is also waiting to walk with us through the process. It is his gift to us – the forgiveness and his presence – each step a gentle whisper that…

You are adored.

Freefall

Growing up, I frequently heard my dad talk about the thrill of skydiving. He was with the 82nd Airborne Division earlier in life and his eyes would twinkle when he talked about the freefall segments of jumps he made during his career. 

I guess you could say I “fell for it.” The idea of the adventure – the freedom – the thrill – and I would often say how much I wanted to jump too. One day.  Living in Colorado Springs it was a near-daily occurrence to see Air Force personnel jumping in the bluebird Colorado sky. That sight always made me pause. Watching airmen drift through the air with their colorful chutes deployed, often using them to create intentional slices through the air, redirecting themselves to land in a specific drop zone….well, it was magical to my heart.

Fast forward a few years and I found myself in an emergency c-section delivery of my first-born. I’m not exaggerating when I say the exact moment I heard my son’s first cry, the desire to skydive vanished. Poof! The fact that I was even aware of that change in my heart at the moment of welcoming our son into the world says a lot about how important skydiving was to me. Right up until his first cry.

While the romance of the idea of a freefall captured my heart, the actual freefall is not the most peaceful part of the jump. That belongs to the controlled descent. The freefall is a fast, adrenaline-filled attempt to think clearly in order to deploy the chute at the proper time. Freefalling is unnerving. Freefalling is out of control. Freefalling is total surrender to gravity. 

Have you ever been in a freefall? It usually happens when life as we know it suddenly changes – and often in a way that is unnerving, out of control, and requires total surrender to the Lord. I would estimate that most of us have experienced a few freefalls in our lifetimes. 

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed,
for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9

It is the total surrender to the Lord that deploys the parachute. Once the parachute is open, the jumper is suddenly shifted into a much slower fall – more controlled by the canopy above. Most people would say that is where the peacefulness lies – in the controlled, drifting drop to terra firma. 

If you are in a freefall, may I encourage you to deploy the chute by trusting the Lord? I don’t want to minimize the reality of the fear you might be feeling. Nor do I want to simplify the circumstances you may be facing. Honestly, though, pulling that ripcord is the only option we have as children of God.  He has promised to care for us and that requires trust. It requires surrender. It requires us to hand results…futures…relationships…questions…everything…over to him. And if I can be totally honest, it might be the one-millionth time we do it and it is likely not the last.

Cast all your anxiety on him
because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7

Tell him about your anxieties, fears, angers, frustrations – all of it. And let him care for you with his love, comfort, and promises – all of them. Each moment in his presence – each moment you receive what only he can bring to you – is another whisper that…

You are adored.

Rain

Living in arid Colorado can make you appreciate the rain. Any rain. When it comes to snow, we absolutely have that covered. And we get some doozy snowstorms including the notorious bomb cyclone of a few years back. But liquid precipitation – rain – well that is a real treat.

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You heavens above, rain down my righteousness;
let the clouds shower it down.
Let the earth open wide, let salvation spring up,
let righteousness flourish with it;
I, the Lord, have created it.
Isaiah 45:8
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Recently we had a period of consistent rain for several days. While it was a treat for the first couple of days, after a while many of us were feeling the results of no sunshine. It was gloomy outside and, frankly, in our own hearts too. We are used to an average of 247 days of sunshine in Colorado Springs and were feeling the effects of that norm seemingly fall right before our very eyes!

During that week, I looked out the window one night to see that it was still raining. I think the only thing rarer than rain in Colorado is rain at night in Colorado. And it was heavy with low, rolling thunder in the background.

I sensed the Lord’s voice in that moment…

The rain is not only good for the earth, it is also a sign of my blessing on you. You have been praying for my hand to move in the yearnings of your heart. It requires my washing. Yes, it can be cold, uncomfortable, and gloomy but the rain – just like the sun – is from me. A gift. Receive it and embrace my answer to your prayers. Drink in my refreshing. Let my watering soak deep into the roots of your being. Welcome the invitation to curl up in the blanket of my Spirit and pause. Rest. Drink. I am at work in the rain.

In a matter of a few more days, the clouds cleared, and the sun did, in fact, reappear. We welcomed it and then marveled at the brilliant colors of the well-watered flowers, grass, and trees around us. Yes, our land needed the rain, and I had forgotten just how brilliant the foliage could be with so much of it.

As I write this, I am in the Midwest where rain is more frequent. So it was no surprise when I woke up to rain today. The sun has been masked all day by a heavy layer of clouds and my hair has been in full-frizz mode. Once again, the Lord prompted me to pay attention. I felt reminded by the Lord that he is at work. And while the rain is a gentle mist here, and not the heavy downpour we experienced at home, it is a perfect amount of watering to his work.

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Pay attention!
Watch this wonder that God is going to perform before you now!
1 Samuel 12:16 MSG
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So I prayerfully pause. Intentionally sit – comfortably positioned in a sweet little coffee shop where worship music softly plays in the background and scripture surrounds me in a variety of Bibles, decorative signs, conversations, and couch pillows. Gently reminding me that he is with me wherever I may be.

And now the sun has broken out. Brightly reminding me of his presence in that gift as well.

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For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground;
I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,
and my blessing on your descendants.
Isaiah 44:4
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Rain and sun. Peaceful and difficult. Our Father is faithfully present in it all. Never leaving or forsaking us. Always weaving events into the beautiful tapestry of the lives he has gifted us. Loving examples of his sacrifice, miraculous works, and selfless love. Whispered reminders that…

You are adored.

Camera Moments

Camera moments. Those images captured from time into a single, still reflection. Gazing at a photo, we see the brilliant smiles and can practically hear the laughter that was certainly happening the moment the shutter clicked. Sure, we all know there is movement before and after an image, but that knowledge seems to fade away in the presence of what is seen right in front of us. The bright, carefree smile.

It is similar to the movement of life in real time. The public smile of the person in front of us does not exclude their private tears. That smile could be a mask used to weather the tears that fell earlier. Or the smile – the one you recognize as genuine – is more likely an honest expression of holding grief and joy simultaneously. So what do we say to the hardship behind the smile? How do we learn to hold the simultaneous opposites of life? How do we respond to the struggle that isn’t seen in the smiles of the camera moment?

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And we know that in all things God works for the good of the
those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28

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All of us experience troubles. It is actually guaranteed to us in John 16 that troubles will be part of our lives. But that same scripture guarantees our hope in Christ’s overcoming of the world. All troubles – big and small – are part of our lives on planet earth. All troubles – big and small – are used for our good and his glory. All troubles – big and small – are part of our loving Father’s plan to grow us into his likeness.

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The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

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So how do we explain the smiles in the camera moment? How do we, as believers, find a way to laugh in the midst of the troubles that we are actually guaranteed to experience? We believe the truth of Psalm 34:18. We find the courage to take God at his word. We fully experience the difficult while fully trusting in his presence. And when we practice that often enough, we get brave. We get courageous. We get confident that while trials swirl around us, we actually get to LAUGH – something so contrary to what seems reasonable for the situation. Yet laughter is actually a very reasonable response to the reality of God’s presence in that situation.

Laugh, child of God! Smile to your heart’s content. Face those trials with the certainty that you are not alone in them. When you see photos of smiling faces, happy times frozen in time, let the full story of God’s goodness in those camera moments remind you…

You are adored.

Cheering Us On

I recently heard a story about a dad who took his two young sons to the mall “to teach them a lesson.” Sounds imposing, doesn’t it? They made their way to a restaurant in the mall and stood at the large windows where they could see an older gentleman inside preparing to bus an empty table. He pushed a button on his watch and flew into action – clearing, cleaning, and re-setting the table for the next guest with incredible efficiency. Each movement orchestrated for maximum impact. In a blink, he pushed the button on his watch again, and was done! The table was sparkling clean and beautifully set for the next guest. The crowd that had gathered erupted into cheers and applause. A big grin spread across his face and he was off to attack the next table with the same vigor.

Dad’s lesson for his precious boys:  Whatever you set your hands to, do it with diligence. Do it unto the Lord.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart,
as working for the Lord, not for human masters,
since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord
as a reward.
It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3:23-24

It doesn’t really matter what the Lord entrusts to us. It is our responsibility – our honor – to steward it well. The gentleman who bussed that table did it with one thing in mind….complete the job with excellence. He challenged himself and became increasingly efficient with each table. His goal was focused on the job at hand, not the applause. Yet, because he had faithfully done this for a while, people began to notice and then they began to cheer him on! 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,
let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.
And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.
Hebrews 12:1-2a

Yes, we are surrounded by those cheering us on. And chief among them is our Father! He sees your faithfulness to the assignment he has given you and is pleased. Some days it may seem menial. Other days the Kingdom impact might be more obvious. Your faithful obedience to him day after day is blessing his Beloved, drawing in the wandering, refreshing the weary, and bringing him glory. He sees you. He loves you. And he wants you to know…

You are adored.

Lions

Have you ever been in the presence of a lion? My only experience, admittedly, is at the zoo. I can tell you, though, that I have heard their roars from the main gate. I didn’t have to be nearby to appreciate the strength of that roar!

But when I did make it to their exhibit, my appreciation for their strength increased substantially. When they run toward the glass, I question if it has actually been tested to withstand the charge. Would it hold? Then with the glass firmly in place, standing nose to nose with that mighty beast, my entire inner core vibrated at the sound of that roar. It shook me from the outside in. 

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
1 Peter 5:8

I can only imagine what it would be like to face a roaring lion without the glass between us. To have the full strength of the roar, the heat of his breath, full in my face. Would I be able to stand?

…and after you have done everything, to stand.
Ephesians 6:13b

Spiritually speaking, we face lions – or the threat of lions – each day. We hear them roar from far off; warning us that they are present. We might even be able to see them from our vantage point as they pace back and forth, always facing us, intimidating us with their power.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;
John 10:10a

Some days, though, they are right in front of us…and we know the reality of the threat they present…and it shakes us from the inside out. From inside our soul, our mind, our heart. It threatens – questions – everything we’ve known to be true.

Therefore put on the full armor of God,
so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground,
Ephesians 6:13a

Our King is the Lion of Judah. The One with true authority and all power. Our King has equipped us and given instruction on how to stand our ground, the ground that our Father has given to us, when threatened. Our King does not back down and, as his sons and daughters, neither do we.

I have come that they may life, and have it to the full.
John 10:10

Our Father has gone to great lengths, great sacrifice, to give us life. We have the security of knowing that he is with us in the battle. When the breath of the lion in front of us is hot on our face, we know the strength of the Lion behind us is far greater and will not be defeated.

You are adored.

Stars

As a little girl, I loved lying on my back in the grass, staring into the beautiful Colorado sky. Daytime gazing brought puffy white clouds leisurely floating by, and nighttime brought the wonder of the Milky Way far above me. It was magical!

The other night, I sensed the Lord inviting me outside. It was a good night to be reminded of his beautiful creation. So I grabbed my favorite blanket, headed out to the deck, and plopped down into my favorite chair. Sure enough, the Milky Way was still there! Star after star twinkled in the black sky – little pinpoints of light that brought beauty and wonder to anyone who would pause long enough to see it. And I was delighted to be one of those people. Although the stars were light years away, their light blazed so brilliantly that I could still see them from my little vantage spot on the back deck in suburban Colorado.

Until the neighbor’s back porchlight came on.

Anyone who has longed to see the night sky in detail knows that they need to get away from light pollution – the surrounding light that is closer – in order to see the light that is farther away with more clarity. Well, my neighbor’s light was pretty close and seemed to dim the brilliance of the stars above me. I was a little frustrated over the interruption. But as soon as the porchlight went off, the brilliance of the stars could be seen again. The stars did not actually lose their brightness, it just appeared that way because of what was closer to me in the moment.

The Lord is my light and salvation – whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 27:1

Have the stars dimmed for you recently? Is there a challenge close to you right now that is burning so brightly it appears to outshine the truth of God’s brilliance, his sovereignty, in that very situation? As his sons and daughters, let’s remind ourselves and one another that we do not need to be afraid. We know the truth of his Word, we know we are loved, we know his glory is never dimmed, and we know that he delights in coming to our rescue…with his truth…with his love…with his light.

You are adored.

The Fight

The Fight

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Ah, summer! The traditional season of rest and refreshing…kicking back by the pool….casting a line into the water…slathering on the sunscreen…sipping some lemonade…. Unless, of course, you are not in a season of rest this summer. What if you are in a season of travailing…working…fighting…birthing a promise from the Lord?

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.
Psalm 31:24

There are certain things that the Lord has called us to do. Us. They aren’t things that can be delegated to another or paused due to inconvenient timing. However, he also hasn’t called us to the front lines of these battles alone. We all need friends who are willing to climb the mountain with us and hold our arms up when we get tired. We all need an Aaron and a Hur.

When Moses’ hands grew tired,
they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it.
Aaron and Hur held his hands up
– one on one side, one on the other –
so that his hands remained steady till sunset.
Exodus 17:12

Aaron and Hur understood the importance of Moses’ call. They stood with him, refreshed him, supported him, and finished it with him. And because they understood the importance of that assignment, the enemy army was defeated. Completely. Defeated.

Are you fighting a battle? Have you been vulnerable with a trusted friend and asked them to run to the battle with you? Have you received their help? Or, maybe you are the Aaron or the Hur that a friend needs right now. Perhaps you have strength to add to their battle. Maybe the help that you think is too small to make a difference is exactly what is needed for the battle to be won. We are the family of God, created to do this together. And it is here that we are reminded…

You are adored.

Springtime Blessings

I’ve had some challenges recently that have kept me from my garden this spring. My thumb isn’t the brightest green, but I still like to get my hands in the dirt, pray over my efforts, and see what might be hearty enough to survive.

The other day I noticed a speck of purple in my mostly-dead-leaf-covered corner garden. I was delighted to find a small grouping of miniature grape hyacinths standing tall among the brown. Truly, you guys, this little corner is a pathetic sight right now. But those little flowers seemed to be saying, “Don’t worry! We’ll still bring life among last season’s dead rubble.”

And why do you worry about clothes?
See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.
Matthew 6:28

Then yesterday I saw a swath of white in my peripheral vision as I was pulling into the garage. Thanks to the hard work of a family who used to live in our home, we have nearly 12 square feet of the heartiest ground cover I have ever known in our front yard. Each year it comes back no matter how much it gets trampled, cut back, or under-watered. These little plants and their petite white flowers are determined to bring beauty to my fledgling front yard. And I’m so glad!

I sent you to reap what you have not worked for.
Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor.
John 4:38

I have shared many times with you how hard work was engrained in me from a young age. For generations back, I can point to the faithful ones in our family who have done what was necessary – and then some – to take care of their household and neighbors. I am grateful for them and their examples. However, I am still a work in progress when it comes to resting as the scriptures have instructed us. “Work hard and rest well,” is something we hear frequently. I have the “work hard” part down…and the “rest well” piece is getting there! So reaping – or enjoying, in this case – the fruit of someone else’s work in my front yard is something I am intentionally attempting to embrace this spring. 

Have you been in a place where it has been necessary to press pause on your typical efforts? A time when your energies have been more valuable elsewhere? Let me encourage you that it is OK to receive the blessing without laboring or spinning. There are plenty of seasons when we labor, and that is a good thing, but our blessing is not limited to the work of our own hands. Our Father invites us into his presence, and he blesses according to his will not according to our deposits. 

Honestly, that flies in the face of my work-hard logic. Yet, I am loved by a God whose grace is what I depend on for salvation. I can’t earn it. None of us can. Allow his loving grace to spill over into the tired, dead places of your heart. Watch how beauty and new growth spring up! It is just another way he is whispering…

You are adored.