My mom loves music, so I grew up on some pretty amazing rock and roll. Elvis, Crosby Stills & Nash, The Beach Boys, Fleetwood Mac, Simon & Garfunkel, and basically any band from the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack … yep, they’re my jam! My mom also loves to dance so it was pretty common for her to be singing at the top of her lungs with the record player and suddenly grab me as her unsuspecting dance partner. But when your mom is a prize-winning twist contestant, you don’t mind!
Recently I received some pretty disappointing news. While it didn’t come as a complete surprise (the Holy Spirit’s work) it still hurt to hear. A lot. This was just one more addition to a growing list of recent disappointments and I’m sure all of us can testify to seasons like this. But for the first time in a very long time, I was also keenly aware that I was standing at a fork in the road and, for the first time in a very long time, I was tempted to take the path that I already knew would be detrimental to my heart. I had the choice to lean into the Lord or lean away from Him. Leaning into Him would involve feeling the sadness, letting the tears flow, prayer, and keeping my heart softened – vulnerable – knowing that it will get hurt again in the future simply because I live on planet Earth. This is a path I have traveled often so, while I know the victory, I also know the work and risk of future pain. Leaning away from Him would involve ignoring the pain, putting on a happy face, and believing the lie that hope/vulnerability/looking forward to things just wasn’t worth the risk of disappointment anymore. Leaning away from the Lord would mean embracing the lie that it is solely up to me to protect my heart. This path felt easier and appeared to come with less risk of future pain. But it is a path that I left behind years ago after learning that risk of pain comes with life. I am wiser to walk through life leaning into the Lord.
Just moments later, I stumbled upon this quote:
“If we refuse or fail to grieve well,
we will die inside and our emotional life will forever be superficial and shallow.
Our joy will be a cheap sham,
and not the full-hearted joy of those who have known the Lord’s comfort in sorrow.”
~Pastor Andrew Arndt
To grieve or not to grieve. To hope and risk hurt, or to hope less and supposedly risk less. I choose grieving with the Lord’s involvement because that brings His healing touch and true freedom to love with an open heart that isn’t guarded. And it is there that He chooses to work so beautifully – bringing healing, true joy, new growth, and miracles.
The following morning as I continued to grieve and pray, I heard the Lord whisper, “Your focus is skewed.” I was reminded that His “no” is often a protection. He has good reasons for His “no” even if it hurts. So I started thanking Him for His omniscience and goodness His protection and perfect plan. I thanked Him for all that He had planned and the opportunity to celebrate with people I love. A grieving heart became a grateful heart.
And right in the midst of that holy moment, I heard Crosby Stills & Nash chortle, “Love the one you’re with. Love the one you’re with!” I couldn’t help but laugh out loud! Let me be clear that the lyrics of the entire song certainly do not apply here, but it was a funny reminder that while it is good and necessary to grieve loss, it is also good and necessary to celebrate the ones He has placed in front of me – right now.
Jesus was so good at this! Despite His full understanding of what lay before Him, He fully loved the ones in front of Him.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
******
This is my commandment,
that you love one another as I have loved you.
John 15:12
Yes, He grieved but He didn’t allow it to crowd out the joy of the moment that He faced simultaneously. Although He knew the torture that waited for Him, He never let that stop Him from loving the people in front of Him – even those He knew would be part of the betrayal that would bring the pain. Wow, sit with that for a while!
The idea that grief and joy are fully exclusive of one another is a lie designed to rob us of our God-given hope. As daughters of the Most High, we do not grieve as those without hope! We do not grieve as those without Jesus! So, the next time you find yourself standing at that fork in the road, let me encourage you to embrace grief with the Lord and embrace joy with the Lord. As long as each involve the Lord, it will be OK. In fact, as long as each involve the Lord, it will be holy. And each moment – difficult and joyful – are precious whispers from our loving Father that He is with you, He is for you, and …
You are adored.
You Are Adored 