So what do you do when your heart catches you by surprise?
I think all of us are on a journey with the Lord that includes an intentional vulnerability to allow Him to shape us into the person He created us to be. Honestly, over the years this intentionality has varied with me. Some seasons have had just a trickle of desire to peel back the layers of selfish immaturity. But the longer I walk with the Lord, the deeper that desire has grown. I lean further and further in to Him, asking to highlight situations where I can be more Godly with my response – helping me to see what He is doing in that moment rather than react from my flesh. I want to be proactive. I want to grow. I want to be mature in the Lord.
So the loving gardener of my heart and I go to work. He waters and prunes. I repent and pray. Leaning in for His strength and reaching down deep to grow strong roots that will support the loving work He is doing. It can be a slow, raw work.
The thing about growth is that the Lord often gives us opportunities to practice what we’ve learned. He allows situations that have previously triggered a fleshly response. A pop quiz of sorts. Sometimes that goes well and other times….
So what do you do when your heart catches you by surprise? What is your self-talk when you realize the growth you’ve worked so hard on is not to the level it needs to be at in order to really be Christ-like in the face of difficulty?
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4
So, here we go again, Lord. You and me. Walking out the messiness of growth together. You, the patient and kind caretaker of my heart. Me, the impatient sapling longing to be a tall, strong oak. You never weary of my mess. In fact, you delight in it and lovingly whisper…
You are adored.
You Are Adored 